Mind and Medicine and Me, oh My

There are several things that play a part in one’s healing process.  Rest, medication, and physical therapy are usually the best while recovering from an injury.  Rest, medication, and physical therapy are also usually best when dealing with chronic pain.  Unfortunately, these things don’t always work the way they are supposed to work.  Take, for example, medication.  (I told you there’d be more on this topic at a later time, so here it is!)  Medication can be good and oftentimes can help people in the recovery and healing process.  In regards to chronic pain, it can also be incredibly beneficial.  Despite the many benefits; however, have you ever taken a look at the long list of “things to know” on your prescription paper?  (If you can even read it.  The print is usually so little, even with a magnifying glass and flashlight I can barely see the words.) I’ve never really paid any attention to this list before.  That is, until I fell, broke my leg, developed CRPS, and tore a tendon.

Before my famous kickball incident, I took very little medicine.  It wasn’t necessarily because I didn’t want to take any.  Medicine has always had an adverse effect on me.  Ibuprofen and Tylenol upset my stomach.  Antibiotics did the same.  Not to mention the canker sores I would develop in my mouth if I took too many NSAIDS.  Cold medicines made me jittery. (Think about that for a minute.  The “old” Stephanie jittery.  As if I didn’t already have enough energy!) Even through marathon training, I would use very little, if any, to help with inflammation.  Medicine wasn’t something I would quickly turn to for pain relief and recovery.  Quite honestly, aside from being a mom, I’ve never had any type of surgery or problems overcoming pain and/or recovering/healing.  What I’ve experienced on this journey has been all new to me and my family.

From the moment I left the emergency room until now, I’ve been given over 10 different types of medication.  Each of them with their own set of side effects.  These medications were to help with pain, nerves, anxiety, and nausea.  I didn’t know there were that many types of pain medication until I fell. Don’t get me wrong, I was thankful for these meds at first.  Thankful the doctor recognized I needed them, yet concerned about being on so many at one time. Some helped and others did not.  The problem wasn’t they weren’t helping; it was they were causing serious side effects.  While we all know my situation isn’t normal, you’ve probably already discovered I’m not normal either.  The doctor would typically say, “This will make you feel so much better and there aren’t many side effects to be worried about.”  So, I’d start taking the medicine and within days, I’d start feeling different.  And not in a good way.

Pain medicine is crucial.  (It makes me sad with the opioid crisis, those who need it the most may not be able to get it.)  Most people with chronic pain need it and don’t have any adverse side effects.  I, on the other hand, have adverse side effects.  Can you say nauseous? Can you say mind altering?  Can you say oops I didn’t mean to order that on Amazon?  I think my kids got a kick out of the reaction I had when I first took a pain pill.  Let’s just say there is a reason I don’t drink!  Regardless, I needed something to help me manage pain.  The doctors tried all different types and we discovered, I would just have to live with the side effects if I wanted a little bit of pain relief.  Although I didn’t like that answer, I did and still do take one when needed.  Even if it alters my mind and makes me feel bad in other ways. Other than that, I rely on Ibuprofen and Tylenol to get me through the day.  A lot of it! At least those don’t make me crazy. (I hope my family would agree with that!)

Similarly, have you ever watched a medication commercial?  I never really paid attention to the side effects they mention because I’d never needed medicine before.  Now that’s all I hear when, on occasion, I have to watch a commercial!  (Love me some Netflix and Hulu!)  Within a few days after starting a nerve medication, I would start feeling different.  Sadness would take over and it was as if I couldn’t control my emotions.  I felt like I was being controlled by the Capital of Panem in The Hunger Games.  Like someone had injected a computer chip in me and turned the cry/emotional knob to high!  Tears would come at random times, and I’d break down crying about my pain or anything, really.  I hated that feeling.  Still do. The nerve medicine was controlling my mind and there was nothing I could do about it.  When my leg/ankle/pain management doctor would see me, they’d suggest anxiety medicine to fix that problem.  WHAT???  At one time, I was on so many medicines, I would get satisfaction from alphabetizing them.  I could go on, but for some reason, I think you get my point

You see, medicine is poison to my mind and body.  I know I can’t go without some of it, but I can at least try things that won’t alter more of me. I’ve spent a great deal of time these last 21 months researching and learning new things about natural things I can try.  There are many things out there that I’m trying, but I still haven’t found the “golden ticket” yet.  Thanks to a few CRPS Facebook Support Groups, I’ve been lucky enough to hear about new things and procedures to help.  CRPS warriors stick together.  And I’ll keep searching and researching to find things that will help me and my mind without the harsh side effects of my medication.  The teacher in me loves the research.  The patience in me is getting thin.  The medicine in me is making me crazy.  My faith, though, is getting me through.  It’s what reminds me to not be scared of this awful disease!  Next post is about March 2017.  Will I get to go back to work?  Will I be given more meds?  Will my pain magically disappear?  Maybe, maybe not??

**This is my opinion only.  Please consult your medical professional before making a decision about taking any medication. **