Maybe, Just Maybe

April 2018

After graduating from The Lemon Center (TLC), I was excited to put what I learned into practice.  Although I still had pain, I had faith what I learned at TLC would help me manage it, and I was proud of the hard work I did while there. The next several weeks would give me a chance to practice what Dr. Lemons had preached.  “Pace and space. Be still and know you’ll still be and relax.” My plan was to continue with those practices as well as the physical therapy I learned.  I had a plan. (You know I LOVE plans!)

While attending TLC, I continued to see my referring doctor. After a few more nerve blocks, he decided he wanted to do a diagnostic test on my ankle. He thought I might possibly have a nerve neuroma which could be contributing to my pain, so he wanted to rule that out before releasing me from his care. Frankly, I had no idea of what a nerve neuroma was. Come to find out, it’s a growth of nerve tissue that causes pain. Of course I knew I had pain; however, I didn’t know if a nerve neuroma was contributing to it.  After researching more about it on Dr. Google, I found that these can sometimes be present in CRPS patients.

The doctor’s diagnostic test consisted of numbing my ankle with several injections of lidocaine.  If I didn’t have pain after the injections, that would indicate I actually had a neuroma.  He would then send me to another doctor to have it removed which could very well help my pain.  Or even better, get rid of it all together.  Listen closely to this…  After the injections, I was pain-free for close to 6 hours.  Did you hear that?  PAIN FREE, people!  I wanted to run around the block, clean the house, and scream with excitement at the top of my lungs.  While I didn’t do any of those things, I felt another sense of hope about my situation.  Maybe this excruciating pain of mine would go away. Soon. Maybe???

The doctor was excited to find out that his assumption was correct.  Or at least that’s what he thought.  I was referred to another surgeon for a consultation.  (My 7^th doctor, by the way, but who’s counting?) To say I was excited about this possibility was a bit of an understatement.  To say I dreaded the appointment, is the honest truth.  Another doctor.  Another appointment.  Another telling of my story.  Another explanation of my illness.  Another, another, another…  Although I was incredibly optimistic about this new information, I was also thinking to myself, “Here we go again.” Chronic pain does that to you.  Having a rare disorder does that to you.  Going to doctors who have never heard of CRPS does that to you.  These things cause you take something that may be a positive and turn it into something negative. Trust me on this.  I know from experience.  You know my story.  There have been a lot of ups and downs and turn arounds.

But… (We all know there’s always a BUT with one T!) This time I was equipped with the tools I needed to get through the days leading up to the appointment as well as to get through the appointment.  What I had learned at TLC prepared me for these things and helped me manage my pain and nervousness. The day of the appointment came and the doctor said he could surgically remove the neuroma.  Great news!  Then BABAM, there came another lemon! I had a decision to make, a quick one. Maybe, just maybe this was the lemon I needed to feel better.  Maybe?!?