2017 arrived and I just knew it was going to be my year. I was anxious to see the orthopedic ankle doctor to find out what his plan would be for my torn tendon. Hopefully, he would know about CRPS and how to “fix” a tendon without getting close to my nerves. How would that even be possible? Who was I kidding? I’m not a doctor, but I do know every part of your body has nerves, right? Have you heard the expression, “You get on my nerves?” Don’t be jealous! I can now use that phrase both literally and figuratively. Doctors (most of them) got on my nerves (figuratively) and so did loud noises, someone touching my left side, and weather changes (literally). In my mind, it’s like I was ambidextrous. Ok, so maybe that’s a bit far fetched. Honestly, though, I was just trying to hang onto anything that might be positive about my situation.
By the end of January, I’d had a few more sympathetic nerve blocks, revisited another pain doctor and finally an appointment with an ankle doctor was scheduled. January 31st to be exact. He explained to me and Steve that I had a slight tear in my peroneal brevis tendon. He acknowledged my CRPS pain and was honest and up front about not knowing a lot about it. (The good news is he’d at least heard of it!) However, he did know doing surgery at that time would not be good as my nerves were immensely inflamed and burning! I thought to myself, “Wow, this doctor wasn’t getting on my nerves. But the thought of him touching my ankle was!” After examining my ankle, he talked to us about his plan. (You know where I’m going with this, don’t you?). Hooray for a plan!
Since my nerves were extremely inflamed by CRPS, he wanted to wait awhile before considering surgery. He sent orders for me to start physical therapy at the greatest place EVER! Grain Valley SERC Physical Therapy (Again, I promise I’m not getting paid to say that!) Additionally, he wanted to start me on new medications. (Ugh, in my eyes, medicines are poison, but more on that later!) He went onto explain that MRI’s sometimes don’t always truly reflect what is going on in the ankle as there is something called the “magic angle.” He suggested we go home and Google it. OMG…now the doctor was telling me to Google something. Seriously, though, I could have my MD by now! Stephanie Griesinger, MD-certified by Google. Maybe that will end up being a part of my journey!
The next words I heard were words I had heard far too often throughout the previous 8 months. “I want you off work until the end of February. We will then see how you are doing and determine the next plan of action.” I knew it was coming, but it still didn’t make the words less heart wrenching. Hearing this news over and over again didn’t make it any easier either. As if the pain from CRPS and a torn tendon weren’t enough, admitting I wasn’t able to go back to work and do what I love was hard. It was the New Year, after all. Nonetheless, I left the appointment with a plan. I would go to therapy three days a week for the next four weeks. I would make my new “check off” calendar and try to stay positive. And although I didn’t want to, I would take the medicine as prescribed. In the back of my mind, I was thinking and hoping that repairing my torn tendon would make everything go away. If I worked hard at physical therapy and did all these things, surely some good would come out of it!
Through the month of February, I attended every single physical therapy session. The staff at SERC became my family. I had been to more physical therapy in the last 8 months than I had been in my entire life. (That says something as a runner/athlete. Looks like I’m now paying for all those years without having a serious injury!) They were patient, compassionate and above all, they recognized how much pain I was in and they understood how to treat it. Oftentimes, doing research about CRPS after hours to come up with a treatment plan. They “understood me” and knew that movement was something I needed. Up until this time, I was told not to do anything active if it brought on burning. My physical therapist knew I needed to release adrenaline, so she encouraged me to get in the pool and walk slowly forward and back.
Thankfully, that was just what I needed to release adrenaline and start building strength in my foot and ankle. And it didn’t bring on more pain! I didn’t do much. But walking forward and back for 5 or 10 minutes was more than I had done for a long, long time. I looked forward to my pool time as well as going to PT 3 times a week. Although I still had days filled with sadness, I was having more and more days filled with happy thoughts and people (at PT). I especially enjoyed that part as I hadn’t “socialized” for several months. That sure does make a difference, especially when you socialize with people who don’t get on your nerves. 😉 My countdown to the end of February was on and even though I was feeling better emotionally, I was still burning and hurting. As February 28th got closer and closer, I knew I would need to brace myself for what might be more time off, a scheduled surgery, different medication, different treatment plan, or simply nothing!
God had gotten me this far, and I knew He would continue moving me forward. I just had to trust, believe and be still. Of course, my anxiousness increased as my next appointment slowly approached!
Inside Invisible Illness 