December came and with it came the approval of an MRI. WAHOO!! Finally, it was on the calendar. Of course, I took the first available appointment even if it meant driving 30 minutes to get there. Some might say MRI’s can be stressful, especially if you are claustrophobic. Any guess who might be that way? Yep, it’s me! The good news was my entire body didn’t have to go in the tube, so an MRI of an ankle/foot wouldn’t be too bad. While kids all around the world were anxiously awaiting Santa’s arrival, I was anxiously awaiting my appointment. Checking off each day until it arrived.
Check… Check… Check… I spent the next several days trying to manage my pain and waiting patiently. The appointment was on a Saturday, which meant a radiologist wouldn’t be able to read and give me the results the same day. Bummer! (I don’t think they are supposed to do that anyway, but when I had the MRI of my leg, I got a printout of my results.) This meant I’d have to wait a few more days to find out what, if anything, was wrong. What’s a few more days anyway? Ha! While waiting, I had more time to think. Think about what else could be wrong. Seriously, I’d been in the same amount of pain for 6½ months without much improvement. I knew I had CRPS, so I wasn’t really sure what else could be wrong. Although, if you remember, Google had diagnosed me with several things. (Note to self, DO NOT use Google to diagnose yourself.) It’s dangerous. It’s scary. And it will lead you to believe you have every disease and/or disorder the internet says you could have.
MRI day came and went. The anticipation of the results was overwhelming. I couldn’t abolish the feeling of “what if.” (That’s almost as bad as a Google diagnosis!) What if there was something else wrong? What if there wasn’t something else wrong? What if? What if? Either way, I wasn’t really sure what it would mean. The next few days crept by as slow as dial up in the country. Strangely enough, it took me dialing the number to the doctor to get my results. And boy was I blown away! I would even go as far as saying I was speechless, again!
In addition to my CRPS diagnosis, there was, indeed, something else wrong with my ankle. I wasn’t crazy after all. I had a torn tendon. A TORN TENDON. My MRI said WHAT? Let me repeat that again to give it more emphasis. I had a torn tendon and had been walking around on it for 6 ½ months. Aha…there it was. Another diagnosis. But what did it mean? How would they fix a tendon without flaring up the CRPS? Was it even repairable? There went my mind again. Although I didn’t know the answers to those questions yet, something deep inside me knew I’d be seeing yet another doctor sometime in the near or far future. Do you recall me saying I didn’t have any control over that?
By the end of December, I was certain about a few things. My foot/ankle and leg still burned like a raging inferno. My foot/ankle felt like an ice block, aching to the bone. I’d have to wait a while to get approval and an appointment set for an orthopedic ankle doctor. Just because I had a torn tendon, didn’t mean my pain journey and CRPS would be over. And finally, you shouldn’t do any on-line Christmas shopping while taking pain medication. That’s not good. Not good at all! Trust me!!! (Consider that a free PSA!)
Most importantly, I was certain that God would be with me no matter which way my journey would take me. That He would continue to help me through. And He would help lift me up on days I couldn’t lift myself.
P.S. If you have any other word I can use besides waiting, I’d be happy to use it in my next blog post. LOL
Inside Invisible Illness 