As Frank Sinatra says, “Start spreading the news.” Sammi and I had plans to go to New York, and we were beyond excited. She was going with her high school band to march in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade. (Pretty cool, huh!) The plans were for me to go and watch her march and see the city. Unfortunately, the timing just wasn’t right. November 2016 came and with it so did more appointments, phone calls, PRP injections and off work notices. Although I didn’t like it, I was starting to get used to the answer of, “You’ll need to be off work for two more weeks, then we will reassess.”
My pain levels were staying the same, and I was being as patient as possible waiting for the PRP to start working. (Didn’t I tell you I was in that infamous “waiting” place for a long time?) I continued to be off work, but stopped being involved with things at school so I could work on healing. This brought my stress level down, BUT I still didn’t have a plan. The doctor was in control, and I had no idea when I would be better and well enough to go back to school. I was starting to loath the word CONTROL. (Even though I like being in control!) I didn’t have control which meant the doctor and the powers that be were in charge, managing me and my pain. However, I did have control of how I took care of myself. I hung on to that as it made me feel like I had some control and a plan.
As the month progressed, Steve and I continued having a gut feeling that something else was wrong. The pain I was experiencing was in my leg and foot, but mostly in my foot. The burning spread up my entire left side. It just didn’t make sense to us that I had more pain in my foot because my broken leg was what caused the CRPS, or so they say. We fought and fought for more tests asking for an x-ray or MRI of my foot/ankle. After 6 months of researching, questioning, begging, we finally convinced the doctor to do some further testing. He ordered an x-ray of my left ankle. We were elated. Even if it didn’t show anything, at least we could rule out the possibility of something else being wrong.
Once the doctor received my x-ray results he called and said he wanted further testing. There was something on the x-ray that concerned him and he wanted to rule out a few things. To say we were more hopeful than ever is an understatement. Finally, someone was listening to us and soon we would know if something else was wrong. Although we were on cloud nine, Steve and I had a hard “personal” decision to make. I was still in pain and was scheduled for more testing. The New York trip Sammi and I had scheduled was just a week away. The excitement for the trip was building, BUT I knew there was no way I could go and enjoy myself, let alone keep up with everyone. Thankfully we were able to transfer my ticket so Steve could go with Sammi. As hard as this decision was to make, it worked out for the best.
Now take a moment to picture this…small town, laid back Steve in a big, fast paced city! He’s more of a camp in the wilderness type guy. But he took one for the team, and they had the time of their lives! Although I was devastated about not being able to go, I wouldn’t change that decision for anything. Steve and Sammi had an amazing time, and Zack and I enjoyed the pictures from home. We had the “small town blues,” while theirs was “melting away!” Zack took me to my appointments and took care of me while they were in the big city. I patiently waited for the MRI to be approved and scheduled. Once again, I was waiting. And waiting. And waiting. Maybe I should have called my blog, “Waiting for…,” you can fill in the blank!
One might say I was getting pretty good at it. But I wasn’t. At least we knew there might be something else going on with my foot. Not even sure what that would mean. But it was something. When Steve and Sammi returned from “being a part of it,” I made a plan. I would continue working on getting better so that I, too, could “be a part of it.” That would be my end in mind! I can’t wait until I can say, “I’m leaving today! New York, New York here I come!”
Inside Invisible Illness 