Through the months of June and July, I made several phone calls to the doctor and never got anywhere. Steve and I were still researching and decided I had a variety of different things. But none of them were a conclusive diagnosis. (I wonder if you can become a doctor by just reading WebMD?) Between phone calls not being returned, hearing the word Hypersensitive, and being told I need to get my emotions in check, I was becoming very FRUSTRATED! I was ready to blow a fuse. Literally! In the middle of July, I was told I could get rid of my crutches. One would think it was the best day of my summer. Don’t get me wrong, I was happy about getting rid of them. I was elated, on cloud nine! But I was still in pain, burning, red and swollen. I still hurt. But I was hopeful.
I was looking forward to walking without assistance and doing things on my own. Now I would get my role as caretaker back, or so I thought. My crutches were ecstatic about the news; they were tired of being thrown around anyway. Once again, the doctor reassured me the pain I was experiencing was “normal.” By now you should know nothing about my journey has been normal. I mean, Dr. Seuss must have been talking about me when he said, “Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” Some would say nothing about me is “normal.” 🙂 This journey has proven time and time again that I do stand out. That I’m not the “normal” patient. I must be a medical phenomenon. (Maybe that would make me famous?!) I was “standing out,” and no one could seem to help me.
School was getting closer and closer and that became a big stress in my mind. How in the world am I going to make this work? I worked hard at getting things ready for my classroom while at home. That always got me excited. I began telling myself, “You can do it. This will go away. It can’t last much longer since they say it’s normal.” You see, my mind was saying those things, but my body wasn’t. Regardless, I had to move forward and be prepared.
A week before my final orthopedic doctor’s appointment, I received a phone call from the doctor. He had finally returned my call. The DOCTOR, not his nurse. He admitted the pain I was experiencing was something he didn’t know how to treat and something that shouldn’t have lasted this long. (Finally, some honesty!) He told me he would refer me to the pain management doctor in his practice. I was back on cloud nine, floating! My appointment for the new doctor was a week away, but I felt I was moving forward instead of at a standstill like I had been most of the summer.
The pain management doctor referred me to yet another doctor who diagnosed me with CRPS (Complex Regional Pain Syndrome) and suggested we start with a series of sympathetic nerve blocks. I was speechless. (I know that will shock A LOT of you!) I had a diagnosis. I had a plan. You know how happy that makes me. Yet again, I was more hopeful than ever. The first nerve block was scheduled 1 ½ weeks before school started. Although I knew this procedure wouldn’t magically cure me, I was looking forward to the little bit of relief they said it would give me.
I continued getting ready for school with anticipation of going back. After all, teaching was one of my favorite things to do. Those that didn’t realize what I was going through, had a hard time understanding my pain as it was completely invisible now. No leg brace, no crutches. I worked hard at putting a smile on my face, trying to ignore the pain. I wanted to go back to school; my mind said I was going to, so that must mean something, right? I continued to pray. Leaning on God to help me understand and praying the nerve blocks would bring me back to my “normal” self. It’s funny how things work. Your body doesn’t always have the same plan as your mind. Can anyone relate to that?
Here’s a link to help you understand my diagnosis: http://www.rsdhope.org/what-is-crps1.html
Inside Invisible Illness 