Summer days crept along. I was getting acclimated to all the help I was receiving from Steve and the kids. As good I could anyway. I’ve always been the caretaker, the helper, so having people wait on me for everything was hard. Really hard! I didn’t like it. I felt helpless. Plus, some would say I’m a control freak. Say WHAT? Not me. I would try to get around and do things or just get a glass of water on my own, but all those things proved to be incredibly difficult at first. My hard headedness wouldn’t stop me from trying, though.
After many conversations with my crutches, we would come up with plans to do certain things. I even asked Google. “Hey, Google, what can a person do while on crutches?” Google responded with showing me how someone did yoga. Yoga on crutches? Now that’s insane! Remember, my plan was to return to school. I don’t think that would have fit into the plan. So I opted not to try it; I was now more cautious than ever before. My bucket list began to change. I no longer wanted to become an extreme sport athlete. Or a professional kickball player. Just kidding.
I’m sure if you asked Steve and the kids, they would say waiting on me was no problem. But let’s be honest, you can only wait on someone for so long before it begins to drive you crazy. “Zack, would you bring me a cup a water please? Sammi, would you please bring in the laundry so I can fold it? Oh, I forgot, I also need some popcorn. One more thing, can you bring me the book I left in the living room?” They would always deliver with a smile. Zack came up with this FABULOUS idea. He suggested I make a list of all the things I need before laying down or getting comfortable. Then he or Sammi could bring everything at one time. He’s brilliant. But my mind never cooperated with that idea. I love lists but I could never think about what I needed before hand. Sorry kids, I tried.
Soon it became time for me to start getting out of the house. With my crutches. I was going stir crazy sitting all day inside my four walls. I couldn’t drive, so Sammi became my Uber driver. Thanks, Sammi Jo. I’ll be truthful, though, she never got paid. Sorry, Sis! I felt like Miss Daisy in the movie “Driving Miss Daisy.” Sometimes she would just drive me around town, sometimes we would even go to Target. Now that was an experience. Sometimes we would get a drink or ice cream. She was the best Uber driver out there. I’d like to think I was the best Miss Stephanie as well.
My broken leg continued to heal and physical therapy was going well despite the intense burning in my foot/ankle/thigh and the sensitivity in my foot/ankle. The orthopedic doctor continued to tell me it’s normal. Although, my physical therapist didn’t think it was. It was about this time I started hearing the word HYPERSENSITIVE. I loathe that word. Truly, I do. The doctor and his nurse used it so often I was beginning to think that was the only word in their vocabulary. “You’re just hypersensitive.” “It’s because of your hypersensitivity.” “We need to do something with your hypersensitivity.” See where I’m going with this? I could not get the doctor to understand my symptoms. My foot/ankle was swollen, red and sensitive to touch. It hurt. LIKE CRAZY! I started thinking it must be in my head then!?!?
You’ll later find out it wasn’t in my head. Never was. But that comes much later in my journey. I was still grasping on the hope for the doctor to realize there was something wrong. And what I was experiencing was not “normal.” I can’t even tell you how many appointments and phone calls I made to try and get help the first 8 weeks of my journey. Actually, I could because I have it all documented. Remember, I was just sitting around that summer. But nothing seemed to work. As a result, my mind started wondering. Google started diagnosing me. (I mean, who hasn’t tried diagnosing themselves with Dr. Google?) My confidence started waning. The start of school would be here soon, and I had to be better by then! I prayed harder for answers and for pain relief. This is honestly where learning how to Be Still began. Not sitting still. But being still so that God himself could help me get through my journey. Being still enough to accept the fact He already has it planned out for me. Nevertheless, Steve and I continued our search for answers. We weren’t ready to give up hope!
Inside Invisible Illness 